


Learning to Touch

by Baroness_Blixen



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode: s02e18 Fearful Symmetry, F/M, Mutual Masturbation, Some angst, Some comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 21:01:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15081647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baroness_Blixen/pseuds/Baroness_Blixen
Summary: Written for the Unsexy Files on tumblr: Mulder and Scully learn a few new things about each other after the episode.





	Learning to Touch

When Scully asks Mulder for the car keys, he shoots her a look and hesitates. She holds out her hand and glances at his forehead, the small wound winking at her. The key dangles from his finger, waiting, too. 

“I’m all right, Scully. I don’t feel dizzy, nothing. I can drive,” he promises her, making his lips curl upwards. Mulder doesn’t feel like smiling and reading her face he knows she can tell. To his relief, she doesn’t protest. She doesn’t even comment. She opens the car door on the passenger side and gets in. Mulder lets out a long breath. He wasn’t lying; he doesn’t feel dizzy. His head is pulsing gently there where his wound gapes. What he hasn’t told Scully, what he can’t tell her, is how glad he feels. Relieved that it was him this time. Him who was in danger, him who is hurt now. Mulder gets in the car and takes them to the hotel. Neither of them speaks, clinging to their own secret thoughts, unheard, unshared.

Mulder is about to bid Scully goodnight when she squeezes past him into his hotel room. He stands in the doorway, glancing inside. Scully turns around to look at him, her eyes observing him silenty. He steps inside and the door closes behind with him with a soft click. She sits on the edge of his bed as though she belongs there. Mulder leans against the wall across from her, his exhausted body begging for rest. 

“I want to look at your wound, Mulder,” Scully says and pats the space next to her.

“It’s just a-”

“I’m a medical doctor. We can do this at a hospital or we can do it here.” Like an obedient puppy, he takes the two steps over to the bed and sits down next to her. Their thighs are touching as she lifts her hand to observe the small cut on his forehead. He gets a whiff of her scent as she leans closer and closer. Her hair tickles his cheek and his nose. Mulder finds himself smiling. 

“How lucky am I to have my own medical doctor, huh?" 

"And don’t you forget it,” Scully chuckles. Their breath mingles there as her fingers fly over his forehead, his scalp and run through his hair. He thinks, and not for the first time, that she just wants to touch him. Feel that he’s real, that he’s here and in one piece. He knows how she feels. Ever since she’s been back he’s felt the same way. His own sneaks up onto her thigh without him meaning to do it. “Mulder?" 

"Hm?” He becomes aware of the placement of his hand and Scully keeps it there as he attempts to move it away. 

“You’ve been quiet.”

“There’s nothing to say, is there?" 

"Is this…,” Scully stops herself and turns away from him as if embarrassed. Mulder squeezes her knee, hoping she’ll talk to him. “The cut looks clear. Let me clean it again so you can sleep.” Mulder watches her rummage through her hand bag to take out the first aid kit. Any other day the fact that she carries it around with her - for him, most likely - would make him smile, maybe even joke. But today he wants to know what’s on her mind. She’s accusing him of being quiet, but she’s nothing but blue silence herself.

“Relax,” Scully says as she starts working on his cut in meticulous moves. 

“You’re good at this.”

“I’m a medical doctor, Mulder.” For dead people, he thinks. He knows better than to voice his thoughts and simply nods. His hands are as restless as his thoughts as he claps them together in his lap. 

“What were you going to say, Scully?”

“It doesn’t matter." 

"It matters to me.” His eyes search hers, but she’s focused on his cut, on her work. He touches her hip to get her attention, but she startles and nicks his forehead.

“Ow!”

“I’m sorry, Mulder.” Scully presses a a gauze pad against his forehead. Her eyes finally find his. They’re wet and he can’t help but wonder if she’s sad and if she is, why.

“Do you think,” Scully pauses again to take a deep breath, but her eyes stay on his. “Is this what you think happened to me? You’re convinced these animals were abducted and had their embryos stolen. Is that what you think, Mulder? That I was on some space ship and they…” She swallows hard and dabs the pad against him. He doesn’t take her eyes off her face. If he closed them, even just to blink, he’d see it, imagine it. Scully helpless somewhere, strapped down, handled against her will. 

“I don’t know,” his voice cracks under his guilt, “I just don’t know. All I know is that I have to find out. For you and for me.” Scully is quiet again, her fingers working on him quickly. 

“All done,” she says a moment later, taking a step back to observe her work. 

“Thank you,” Mulder replies feeling inadequate, feeling like nothing is enough. Anxiety sweeps through him; she’ll go to her own room now, go to bed, alone, and be away from him for the night. He’s so deep in thought that he barely notices her stepping closer again. When his eyes and his mind clear, she is there between his legs, staring at him. 

“No, thank you, Mulder.” Scully leans down and kisses him right between his eyes. Her lips linger there, warm and right against his skin. His hands sneak up to her hips again, to hold her close. This time she doesn’t startle. She steps closer as her lips leave him. Her hands frame his face and he looks up at her. There’s a small smile appearing around her lips. 

“So this is what it feels like,” she whispers.

“What?” His voice is quiet, too; the words almost shyly slipping out of his mouth. 

“To have you look up at me. I like it." 

"I like it too.”

“Have you ever thought about this?” Mulder doesn’t know what she means and his face, he knows, reflects his question. “About us, like this." 

"Scully, I-” It’s the wrong thing to say and she misinterprets his hesitation. He puts his hands over hers and will her to stay there with him, to listen to him. “I have. I do. When you were gone, when I- I thought I lost you and I promised myself that I’d never let anything happen to you ever again if you…”

“I’m here, Mulder. I’m here with you. I’m back and I’m not going anywhere." 

"But they might take you again, Scully. I couldn’t – I can’t do that again. I can’t. I couldn’t do it to your mom. To you. I can’t lose you again, Scully. I – we can’t. We…” But he wants. He wants to touch her. His fingers burn with the same desire he sees reflected in her eyes. He wants to hold her, kiss her, love her. He wants. 

“Just let me…,” Scully’s plea evaporates as her lips find his. He’s the softest thing he’s ever felt. Her lips fit against his as if they’ve been made from the same mould, a perfect match. She leans into him and his hands tighten around her hips. She moans against his lips and as his eyes slip shut he loses the fight against the voice in his head. He wants. He needs. More importantly, she wants. She needs. His mouth opens under hers and he no longer thinks. Their lips stroke and tease and their tongues do the same. Mulder is so lost inside her, this new sensation that he almost misses her hands starting a journey of their own. Until they reach his crotch. The want intensifies and they moan in unison as she cups him through his pants.

“I want this, Mulder.” Her lips leave him, and he stares at them with regret, with hunger. He momentarily forgets, can barely form a decent thought, when her hand lower his zipper. Mulder expects her hand on him and he twitches, throbs, just imagining it. But she doesn’t touch him. She looks into his eyes. “Do you want this, Mulder? What do you want?” His little head knows exactly what he wants. Her hands. Her mouth. Her. But it’s her. It’s Scully. Not too long ago he let himself go. Didn’t think, just let his baser instincts take over. Not again, not this time. Not with Scully. 

“I want this, too, but… not like this. Not- not here.” Scully tilts her head. Her pupils are dilated; he’s certain his are a matching pair. “I- I want you, Scully. You can’t believe how much.” Her eyes drift down to his crotch and his penis bobs in want, in need. 

“I have an idea,” she murmurs against the shell of his ear, kissing him there. He watches as she lies down on the bed and spreads her legs slightly. Mulder gasps as her hands wander over her body, touching all the places he wants to be touching. His fingers twitch as she unbuttons her blouse one button at a time. Her eyes burn into his face, he feels her heat on him, as he can’t tear his gaze of her fingers. “You can touch if you want, Mulder.” He reaches out and his hand disappears under the cotton, finds the warm skin of her stomach. Scully sighs and leans back. Mulder pushes the blouse aside and stares at her breasts, still covered by black lace. His eyes go to hers, ask for permission. Scully smiles at him and he touches. He’s holding a piece of heaven in his hands. A perfect weight. But he needs more. There’s a clasp in the front and his shaky fingers work it open. He pushes the fabric aside and realizes he was wrong. This is it. This is what he’s wanted, needed. 

He lets a finger wander over the swell of her breast, learning its contours. She moans and arches her back slightly when he finds her nipple, her body begging for more. 

“Mulder, touch yourself,” she moans, watching him through half-lidded eyes. His brain is slow to follow, his hand still on her breast, unable to let go. “I want to watch you touch yourself. Touch yourself like you’d want me to touch you. I’ll,” she moans as he pinches her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, “I’ll show you too. So you’ll know when – when we- oh my god, Mulder.” He kisses her there, needing to taste her for once. She clutches his back as he suckles her, her fingers digging into his shirt. She tears at it, trying to rip it off him. Mulder, reluctantly, lets go off her breast to take off his shirt.

“Pants, too, Mulder,” Scully says, slipping out of her own clothes until she’s lying there like an unwrapped gift. He stumbles as he steps out of his shoes and then his pants. Only when he’s completely naked does he join her on the bed. Their bodies are close, almost touching and heat radiating off them. Scully is the first to grin. “Watch, Mulder,” she says and he follows her hand as it slips down and disappears into her curls. His mouth falls open as he watches her fingers play herself easily, knowingly.

“Touch. Yourself,” Scully gasps out, turning her head to him. He grabs his cock, sliding it through his hand. He matches her rhythm, pretends it’s her touching him. Pretends it’s his fingers touching her.

“Scully, I-” But words escape him. His eyes flit between hers and her hand, working herself quicker now, more desperately. Sweat breaks out on his forehead as he feels the familiar tingle take a hold of his body.

“Touch me,” Scully moans, “just touch me, Mulder. Please.” His own hand becomes a blur and he can’t stop and he can’t not touch her. His free hand finds her breast and she cries out the moment he is there, skin on skin. She’s coming. He almost stops as he experiences her fall apart before his eyes. Her back arches, pushing her breast into his hand. He swears he can feel her tremors against his own skin, under his fingertips. Still breathing hard, she turns to him. Her cheeks are glowing, her lips twitch into a smile. She opens her eyes and that sight alone makes him weak, makes his hand pick up the pace again.

“Come for me, Mulder.” Her breathless voice, hoarse words, and he’s almost there, almost there.

“Come for me,” she repeats and her hand finds his, grazes his penis, and then he’s there, spilling over both their essence, panting heavily, bucking against her hand, all of her. 

Her chuckle brings him out of his orgasmic stupor. His cheek hurts and he realizes he’s grinning. So is Scully. 

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi.”

“We’ve never done that before.” Scully closes the distance between them and leaves a soft kiss against his lips. 

“I wanted to feel something different for a change. I wanted to forget for just a moment.” Mulder swallows and nods. He understands. 

“I can see the wheels starting to turn again,” she taps a finger against his temple, “let’s sleep before their creaking keeps us awake.”

“Uhm, I should-” But Scully takes his hand into hers and he follows her without question. She opens the adjoining door to her room and leads him to her bed.

“Sleep, Mulder. We don’t need to be alone. Not anymore.”


End file.
